Drowning in this glass of wine

Drowning in this glass of wine

A voice within said,”Do not drink too much of this wine”, I failed to listen.

I see my future dancing between the circumferences of this misty, transparent glass of wine,

I wish to feel every drop going down my throat leaving the fruity scent coloured on my deceiving tongue,

I wish to sense the combustion of the mixture of chemicals and berries deceiving my mind and cells,

I wish to cut all ties between insecurities and emotions playing hide go seek with the brain,

I wish to filter coldness and deceit to help strengthen this heart with greed,

I wish to forget the past with no strength of intoxicated elements and drugs.

Should this glass break, my future shall be scattered on every fine glass on this past crowded floor.

I picture my past on every broken piece;

The mixture of fermented grapes and chemicals seem to bring out the best in me,

The root of my happiness is determined by every popped up cord on each empty bottle,

The source of my heartache is furnished by every sip swimming down my throat.

I always hear my favourite song playing on the radio each time I break down,

Somehow I wish it could stay on repeat for my last bottle and I to dance.

I steered down my phonebook to entertain this loneliness inside,

Got my Ex on speed dial but couldn’t dial her up, cause fiddling back into the past has never gained anyone courage.

Unfamiliar voices keep whispering commitment in my ear,

Not sure why the victim for it’s this icy glass I plan to marry,

Merry be those who found peace in my downfall,

Therefore let Mary weigh the crown in victory,

Neither Mare nor Marie could change this beast I have turned into,

Watch me walk down that isle in spirit,

Hand wrapped up around her waist just in time to help catch Manna from heaven.

Life is like a game up chess,

Either you put it in check or it mates you,

So as insignificant as I am now,

Worry less about surrendering my life to the game,

For its every indecisive move that led my life to the drain,

Instead of using the brain,

For my problems has always been the money pouring like rain.

I wish not to see myself cuddled in my bed tonight,

For I which not to know what the lonely ghost in my nightmares has planned for me.

My failure is the apple of every naked eye,

 And you there judging,

You don’t know how many people lost their lives to save mine.

I am a poet by calling, but lost my purpose through visions,

I wrote you love songs and poems to aspire,

You were inspired,

You changed,

You related,

Lived to bold words I uttered with pride but couldn’t find salvation in the change I brought in people,

I find it unethical for my thoughts to be sentenced for actions that circulate through my mind,

Therefore I ask that these mind-manacles be unchained.

By:Ts Mashile